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Seeking Clarity About Your Relationship? Asking Yourself These 40 Questions Can Help
“Sometimes questions are more important than answers.” — Nancy Willard
One of the most valuable life lessons I learned was from my grandmother. She taught me the importance of staying curious and asking questions.
When I was growing up, she would often look at me with her warm, almond-colored eyes and say, “The best way to learn, to gain clarity is to ask questions. Never be afraid of asking questions.”
As a middle-aged adult today, the truth of her wisdom continues to prove itself. The beauty of questioning is it is one of the surest paths to enlightenment. It stimulates an unquenchable thirst for understanding. It encourages us to be more proactive in our lives.
Questioning also provides us with valuable perspective into every area of life, including our relationships.
When I was in college, I could only afford to visit my family during summer and Christmas breaks. While I was at home, I particularly enjoyed spending time with one close friend. We had known each other since junior high school and I considered her the younger sister I never had.
During the beginning of my sophomore year in college, my friend contacted me and revealed she had romantic feelings for me and wanted us to start dating.
I was completely caught off guard. I had no idea she felt this way. Sensing my dismay, she asked that I think about it, and we would talk when I saw her that Christmas.
For the remainder of the semester, I agonized over what I should do. One night, my grandmother’s wisdom began echoing in my mind. I needed to honestly ask myself: How did I feel and what did I want?
By being still and questioning myself, I gained access to my inner voice I was drowning out in my panic. I came to realize while I did love my friend, my feelings toward her were purely platonic. Pursuing a romantic relationship primarily out of fear of losing her would have been unfair to both of us, and would have caused us to live a lie.
That Christmas was very difficult. When I told her how I truly felt, she was understandably hurt. However, our…
